Being boring used to be a big fear of mine. Routine was so repelling, the idea even felt soul-deadening.
I spent so much time dreaming of having lots of money so I could have tons of adventures, travelling, meeting fabulous people, never be bored a day in a my life as a girl…
At some point in the recent years however, I have to admit routine became one goal of mine. Not as in “having the same day over and over” like I was terrified by younger, and that still makes me cringe hard, but as in : making sure there are some daily components here to nourish me emotionally, physically, spiritually.
Austin Kleon titled the 9th chapter of Steal like an artist “Be boring. (It’s the only way to get the work done)".
Everything big, grand and/or impactful (for us or others) that we want to accomplish asks for a lot of energy from us. We can’t pour from an empty cup.
Health care, body care, but also self-care and community care are what’s filling the cup, we can’t do much without them. We need to give ourselves plenty of care, and we need a good social environment to nourish us to live a purposeful life.
Something weird happened with time too. After years of experimenting, I realize now that what makes ME find my life dazzling can actually be seen as boring by others…
Because it doesn’t fit into boxes of what we can share with others to dazzle them, like travel, fame, money, big milestones socially rewarded -house, marriage, children, career-, glamorous outings, superhuman performance in something…
My life is far from glamourous. I don’t go out much, I do a lot of the same things everyday, I have few people in my life. I live in an environment with an incredibly diverse flora and fauna, but am far from spending all my free time exploring it.
So going back to my girly dreams : not a lot of money, no actual adventures, few travel, not meeting many people, very few fabulous, bored at least once a day... Not one box checked... And I LOVE it.
Writing everyday, painting a few times a week, seeing my patients.
Having my little routine every morning and building one for the evening, tons of reading, lovely meals.
Having very few people in my life, with whom I maintain badassly loving bonds, people that know me for who I am, the whole of who I am, who I can’t count on and share my core values and some great laughter, and vice versa.
Living with my favourite person, and the most adorable cat in the world, in a small flat that looks more like an artist’s den than a home.
I have some more dreams to pursue, but I can’t imagine wanting to be somewhere else and get so much joy out of my life, so much more than I used to imagine as a little girl. As boring as it sounds for so many people I’ve met in the past few years.
And the funny part is that when I am seeking what the young girl I was thought what was a fabulous life, what the media I watched and read told me was, I never was fulfilled by them.
They were fun when novelty was included, but not if repeated. They were always slightly overrated. Fabulous people tend to be people after all, etc etc…
And the patients I had over the years, or the biographies I read over the years of people who had those things, except if it was in alignment with their deeper purpose (eg think a life of adventures for someone writing or making documentaries and sharing them with people to teach them about they truly loved), didn’t seem very fulfilled either.
I came to conclude by researching the topic in different ways that having a boring life, is one more abstract concept that society tried to make universal, but that actually means something different for everyone. AND that abstract concepts are often intuitive ones, the kind we can only feel in the pit of our belly.
That when we actually try to overthink them, put them in neat little boxes that “what makes for an interesting life”, we lose sight of what’s important to us : what has the most meaning for us, and what brings us the deepest joy.
I hope you are seeking a boring life that feels incredible, my dear hummingbird.
If you're still skeptical, watch the TED talk of Manoush Zomorodi on how boredom can lead us to our most brilliant ideas.
What do you keep thinking about wanting to do but postponing? What does feel like playing or fooling around but also bringing you utter joy?