58/100 days of emotional badassery - In which we dissect the birth of a new routine

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
Here we are, at the end of my most prolific writing week ever.
It’s time to take stock and decide where to go from there.
I thought I’d share my thought and decision process, both for me, and to help you to implement any of your new routine.
 
A few weeks ago, I started to publish my texts once a week, despite writing them everyday. 
 
I was exhausted and wanted to limit the energy I was giving to this everyday, especially since no one reads me everyday.
So it started by delaying a couple of days here and there. And it snuck up on me.
When I wrote my first Love & Badassery Letter 4 weeks ago, Sunday had become the day I would publish everything from the previous week. It was a matter of self-care for me.
 
I also wanted a way to be more efficient. The publication is not the easiest thing (I’m not using a blog platform), and takes time. It was easier to bundle everything up.
 
In the experiment of this, I realized it was the perfect opportunity for me to reread my texts with a little perspective, which helped motivate me. 
It used to be scary to me to reread myself, and now that it’s not anymore (through previous practice), I just wasn’t doing it.
I discovered that I LOVE doing this in the past few weeks. I’m so happy I did it. It brings me so much inspiration, and helps me greatly to be aware of how much I'm progressing. Which is important motivation and ego wise.
Twyla Tharp says
“The true secret of creativity is to go back and remember”
I know it’s definitely an important and rich part of my artistic journey, it helps me so much to grow my practice and skills and to develop my style.
 
I’m not very clear on why I resist so much doing it for my writing, except maybe because rereading myself takes much more time than going through my paintings, but I’m glad I don’t shy away from it anymore. 
And even more glad I could feel in my body the joy and inspiration it brings me to reread myself. It’s important to feel things in our bodies to make them more real.
 
Now that I really KNOW I want it, I need to work on implementing it in my routine.
 
It’s a good thing that I reread everything to share them in my Badassery & Love Letter every week, so I can keep up with this as long as I write for my 100 days project. We need little things that help us be more accoutable and ease our process to make it more sustainable.
I’ll see what I’ll do at the end of it.
 
But we’re at a turning point here.
As I was saying yesterday, my body also made very clear that I LOVE writing a lot during my days.
As my person put it earlier, to honour this love, I need to make my days around writing, more than merely making sure I write everyday.
That was exactly what I was experimenting with during this very unbalanced week and it’s a big "FUCK YEAH" waiting for in the end of this tiny road.
 
That’s only the first iteration of my writing week though. I expect there to be many of it.
 
Firstly, I don’t want Instagram taking as much of my time, even if it’s for writing, this is more about starting out from my comfort zone. It’s easy for me to know what to write and plan it when it comes to IG, I've done for years now. So it's a great place where to start.
 
I also expect to be bored of it and frustrated by it in a few weeks time. When it’s more normal to me to write a lot, and I’ll want to write things of more importance. I see IG as a vehicle for my writing, but if I question this from my core values, I don’t want it to be my only or even main place of writing. A great place to start is not necessarily where we want to stay on the long term.
 
I was also happy to diminish the editing and publishing time, but now it’s taking up too much of my Sundays.
Today, I spent 2 hours editing and publishing. It was nice to read and do all this, but also not how I envision my Sundays. I'm not just problem-solving here, starting from what I don't want. It's important to take into account our dreams for ourselves, including dreams as little as how we want to spend our week-ends.
 
So this week, I’m back on the daily editing and publishing train.
I took a lot of rest on the side of all that writing, I don’t feel nearly as exhausted as before my holidays, there's no reason for me to keep doing this that way anymore. I'll see how it goes from there. To create a new routine sustainably, a huge amount of flexibility is required.
 
I’m also wondering if I don’t want my Badassery & Love Letter to leave on Saturdays instead of Sundays.
Or at least to be prepared then, for the same reason.
 
To me, Sundays are about resting, relaxing and spending nice moments with my family (my person and the loveliest cat in the world). And my family was very much neglected this week. For one week of expeirmentation, that's ok, and it was communicated before and during the week. But in the future, I’ll need to make more place for them to stay content and maintain quality connection, which is very important to me.
 
I’m happy I’ll have to write less big content from this week. At the same time, I also have my new job for two half days next week and will have more clients than last week, a more normal schedule for me. Time will be tight.
 
I also didn’t read or learn as much as I enjoy it and didn’t go out at all. So that means if I want to do this, keep writing a lot, go back to self care and more quality time with my family : something(s) will have to go. It's crucial to make space for new things to happen. We can't just expect our life to magically expand.
 
There is an easy one right now : (way) too much social media in my life and dicking around on the Internet last week. And I loved going back to my sources of inspiration, to read motivational stuff, to connect with lots of people, but that’s not sustainable as it was. I used the Moment app to track my screen time, and was horrified by the time I spent on Instagram.
 
Another one will have to be all the TV shows I watched last week to relax without necessarily stop writing. Which is enjoyable for neither activities really. Multitasking is exhausting and unproductive in the end.
 
I will also have to go to sleep and wake up earlier.
 
This will not be easy (none of the three will be).
My inner Toddler will be quite annoyed and I expect tantrums…
But today was about the plan, not its execution.
 
We’ll talk more about how I will reinforce and deal with those this week.
 
Love,
L.

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