42/100 days of emotional badassery - In which it's the night before a big shift

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
There’s a thrill in the air. It’s a Sunday evening like many others, and yet, it’s different tonight. Knowing that I am about to embark in a 2 weeks break from social media feels like a weird adventure in the unknown.
Those coming weeks were going to be special anyway. 
I bought tickets for a week of online conferences on social justice for helpers (activists, social workers…) and mental health professionals. I am going to have to wake up everyday around 4 for those lives all week because of the time difference, learning a ton and meeting great people hopefully. 
And the week after this, we are taking our first vacation in 2 years. Last year, I had 2 weeks that I spent looking for a flat, moving in and buying second hand furniture when we arrived here. Believe me, those were not holidays.
It’s also the first time in ten years my holidays are not about seeing friends and family but actual travel and discovery. Those 5 days will be spent at the beach, camping, hiking, visiting an even tinier island the ours. No Internet, nothing work related. Adventure and freedom on the menu! THOSE are included in my definition of proper holidays ❤️
So my whole world is going to be a little upside down during the week. I am very curious to see what it will mean for me. Every Monday, when I have my weekly social break and spend the day in solitude, I feel relaxed and recharged like never. But I’ve never done it more than 3 days in row.
And when I take 3 days, I also always have some sort of melt down and lots of big realizations about my life. After each of my long retreats, I start changing my life in deep ways. I noticed the same patterns for most people ready to take big chunks of time in quiet times and solitude.
I won’t be alone for 2 weeks, I’ll meet people the first week, will video call a couple of people too. And on the second week, I will meet locals and be with my boyfriend. But still, those 2 weeks will include a lot of different living from my norm, and two normal weekly retreats. Big changes of scenarii are never innocuous, they shift things inside too. Part of me is a little scared. 
During my very first retreat, I really freaked out not being connected at all, it was super hard. I’m not sure I could have done it for 2 weeks without “practicing” for 3 years one day a week to be honest. Even if I hate to admit that, because it means I’m quite addicted to it. 
Social media are also a big source of inspiration for me, so part of me is terrified by feeling uninspired, which happened in the pst, of course, creativity is seasonal. But what if it happens for the whole time? How awful would it be to have to write for 2 weeks completely uninspired?
And then of course, a part of me can’t wait, knowing very well that I feel particularly inspired on most of those retreats. That I will have tons of extra time creating instead of consuming content. That getting bored is the best way to be super creative. That I’m never more happy with my relationships than after a break away from them, reflecting on where I’m at, and coming back to them fully recharged.
Big external shifts always include big internal shifts. When we are ready to experiment them with open mind and heart, they can be some of the richest times… If we let them. My dear hummingbird, if you’re in the middle of one of those shifts too, try to notice the way you’re resisting it
We all do some resisting, it’s very human. But when we focus more of our energy on letting go than on resisting, choosing to intentionally act differently, the magic can really unfold. I'm pretty sure we’ll speak more of this in the days to come.

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