Phew… The day after a big vulnerable leap is always a hard one. I love the term Brene Brown use to describe those “Vulnerability hangover”.
I woke up very anxious, after too few hours of sleep.
There’s this part of me that still feels like I did something bad, I crossed a line that I can’t uncross, that could make me end up rejected. Even if I’m not sure anybody read it!
Even if the people closest to me did read it, and actually helped go through the publication, that was too hard to do by myself and were extra supportive. Positive about the fact I actually didn’t do anything damageable, but rather something quite hard that could help others. I’m so grateful for their love and support.
Guys if you read this : I love you so much!
Alongside the fear, anxiety, and self-doubt, there's a part of me that feels deeply grounded by what I wrote. Something new also happened today. Another part, more shy, actually feels blanketed in love by a higher power. I call them the Universe, you maybe call them with another name. I’m not ready to get into that yet though, I just wanted to mention that I am fascinated by how spirituality can be incredibly soothing when we do hard things, helping us be reassured that no matter what, everything will be ok.
Even with all that positive energy surrounding me, it’s still hard emotionally. And I had a couple of patients tonight, so I had to make sure I was centered.
To nurture my vulnerability hangovers, I know only one efficient way : giving extra love to my inner child.
So like on day Three, I took it as slow and gentle as possible. I practiced some Nina self-care too (see parts 1 and 2).
I declined any invitations to go out, because I didn’t feel like seeing people, strangers or not.
I tried to avoid my phone as much as possible, to not lose myself into the social media rabbit hole and instead focus on myself.
I made my routine yummy in its longer version, I even added some yoga time, and will take some time right after writing, before going to sleep, to make sure I sleep well too.
Warriors need to rest. And I’m warrioring tomorrow.
I only contacted people I felt very comfortable with, dropped out most “obligations” (at least as many as possible).
I made sure to state what I needed to feel as comfortable as possible to my loved ones. I wrote things like “I’m way too anxious to answer to this now, but thank you, I’ll get back to you tomorrow”.
I transformed my day so it felt as soothing as possible.
For example, stories are an important part of my daily life. I watch some tv shows several times, either by myself, to let my partner discover them, or to rewatch them together.
Stories can be so healing if we choose them very carefully : there are food for our soul. For someone as introverted and highly sensitive as I am, it’s even more important : my inner life needs to be a very well tended garden.
Watch only dramas and shows about horrible human beings, I can assure you as a psychologist (using stories as a tool to help people heal) that it’s going to be hard to trust your fellow human beings. So I watch a lot of them where people deeply love and care for each other, they are a bit like my fictional family and friends, inspiring everyday to do better by my loved ones.
Today, no drama, only things that help us connect to the most (self) loving part of us, and things that make us smile or laugh. We watch more than usual today, for extra TLC.
I also noticed a few years ago that some tasks, if scary but not very immersive, can be very hard for me to mono task on.
Even if I avoid multitasking because I don’t like it and know it’s not what our brains are wired for, in those instances, I do those yucky activities while watching something I already know and enjoy.
Today, I asked my partner if it was okay for him to watch a funny show with me while I would prepare my Instagram post sharing officially the first day of my challenge.
It was so helpful and encouraging to have him next to me, and the Cougar town crew in the background, supporting me in this scary entreprise and while sharing a few laughs with him! It can be so hard to do things by ourselves...
The same way, I am right now with my best friend on a video call.
We did an easy watercolor class on Skillshare together earlier, to relax and have fun. Creativity, when we can practice it in difficult states, is always so healing and soothing.
And right now, she’s working on some things while I write to you.
Then, we will do some yoga before she leaves and I go to sleep (living in different time zones and all).
It prevents me from procrastinating, while making those activities more enjoyable and less scary.
I made sure to express my limitations of the day, she did too, so we manage to both take the best of this call.
Life is scary and hard. Fortunately, we can do hard things. And doing hard things with some playmates is much easier than doing them by ourselves. Asking for help and support is such an incredible way to bond with our loved ones, it makes me incredibly grateful to have them in my life.
Do you sometimes enroll your favourite people into helping you do hard things too? What do you guys do together if yes? If no, what scary things can ask them to help with, starting by little ones if it’s hard to ask for help too?
We deserve the love of others when we are having a tough time. I truly hope you give yourself that kind of compassion once in a while.