Is our strategy only about big things or also small things in life?

Photo by Levi Meir Clancy on Unsplash

Let’s be clear right away : this is only a matter of how radically we experiment.

We are 9 centered beings, we are not here to follow homogenized rules but our inner authority. Our strategy is only the easiest path to connecting to our authority, including when we don’t take it willingly! With n0 filter and no details, my shortest answer to that question would even be : who. 👏🏽 the fuck. 👏🏽 cares. 🤣 (seriously!)

Here’s the longer version :

Ra started with the “strategy for big things only” stance, but during the rest his "Human Design career”, he encouraged us to spread it to small things too very quickly. For most of us, it’s very scary to wait for so much. It triggers so hard that fear of never being asked. And to hurt people we love.

So one of my favourite things to share about this is that we can start wherever on that continuum of waiting for everything and waiting for nothing. It doesn’t matter as long as we’re not forcing ourselves mentally. And even when we do, if we watch what is happening, we get to learn about what that’s like, and how that works for us!

It’s about our Authority and awareness, not mental rules

I so often am reminded by my Experiment that deciding mentally creates resistance too. After all, Human Design is about following our own authority so we can differentiate. So… I’d say that it's important to remember what we wait for is more about our Authority than about the rule itself. We’re certainly not here to prove we can follow that rule well. And so many of us never will anyway. Why torture ourselves in a new way with this? 🤷🏽‍♀️

I did the waiting for invitations "only big things” thing for 2 years when I met HD. It was more than enough, I have initiated so much in my life. It’s amazing how much it changed my life.
But I’ve also been for so long an advocate for titration, for learning hard things one step at a time. And following our authority is absolutely a hard thing. I also would have never been willing nor able to start by not initiating conversations or coming to the table when it's meal time for example…

… until I realized I hit the same kind of resistance and bitterness in tiny things. My life was already much more relaxed and successful. I don’t mean that in the homogenized sense, like having tons of money or fame or whatever, just navigating life with much more flow and ease, and being invited to guide more and to more juicy things. Of course, it included a healthy dose of feeling seen, recognized, celebrated by my people and my strangers (I’m a 5th line, I’m made for strangers). I’m just careful about that “feeling seen” thing, sometimes, our not-self makes us feel very seen because it’s about people feeding what our mind believes we are.

But in the nitty gritty of things, in the unpleasant little interactions I was having, especially in my most intimate bonds, I noticed that familiar flavour of bitterness showing up at times, often unexpectedly.
So, a bit unwillingly, with that “ugh… I guess maybe invitations are also about tiny things, shit, I really hate that…”, I slowly started to wait on the smaller things, just in case there was more goodness to find there for me.

I’m still having a love/hate relationship with it, but I must admit after 2 extra years of experiment, now way more radical… Success and relaxation (I have 3 Right arrows in my variable, tension and focus are not my natural state), as well as other signposts like my Motivation and View all show me every day that this is my path.

I don’t need convincing, I don’t need it to be effortful, I don’t need to be reminded of the rule, nothing… I love that lesson from HD so much… When things are for us (including when it’s the right timing), they tend to be much easier and flowy. Something I am still very much learning in the field… my mind wanting to take back control and be my authority is so strong!

Sometimes, it’s just too hard to wait. And I’m reminded of how much my undefined Ego wants me to prove my experiment is radical enough. Usually, I learn a lot about bitterness and my transference/distraction that way.
Sometimes, I only notice later that I unknowingly waited, and get to see the really cool things that happen when I do wait more than I’m comfortable with.
As always, as long as I observe what happens, I get where I need to get and to fall a little bit more in love with my strategy and authority.

So my only “rule” has become to wait as much as I humanely can, meaning I don’t practice what feels like self-violence, I don’t seem to need to. And watch what happens with as much honesty as I’m able to muster. This approach seems to work well for most people trying it out and discussing that process with me as well and I can only recommend to anyone in their experiment to try it out. For some, it’ll mean that you’re going to dive to the deep end first, or change their approach, or never get as radical in our experiment… There is no perfect way to do this, and there’s certainly not one way we’re meant to follow. ☺️